by Patricia Lee

Women, we are a mystery, even to ourselves. That's because we manage our lives through our emotions, unlike men, who are fact based creatures. One time you do something new during sex and she loves it, the next, she's pushing you away. What's a man to do? Here are some ideas to make it easier.

Before sex begins, she needs to feel loved, appreciated, and respected. Starting out with sincere compliments, maybe a nice dinner or something similar, and kissing are generally the way to go. Oh, unless we're in the mood to skip the preliminaries and get straight to it ...but you should be able to tell the difference. (snicker)

Moving on to foreplay, be sure she has at least one orgasm. That's a hard and fast rule. If you don't, she's not going to like the rest of it as much as she should. If you don't know how to give her an orgasm, three simple words, stimulate the clitoris. Ok, got it? Lick it, use a vibrator, whatever it takes to get that motor humming. Trust me, the better you are for her, the better she will be for you.

All the hype about stimulating the g-spot deserves a mention here. Yes, g-spot stimulation is great but if your only doing that and ignoring the clitoris, your not really accomplishing much. Not sure where the g-spot is? There is tons of info out there to tell you but I suggest getting a g-spot vibrator and using that while licking the clitoris. She will like it, trust me.

Wanting to give her multiple orgasms? As soon as she has her first orgasm, stop stimulating the clitoris for a bit. Use the vibrator and stimulate the g-spot. In a matter of minutes, she will be ready for clitoral stimulation again. The clitoris needs a minute or so after orgasm or it will be way too sensitive to touch. You should be able to tell by her reaction when to begin again.

What? She doesn't want anything to do with a vibrator? Yes, I know there are women out there who obviously have never tried them so don't know what they are missing. If this is the case, start with a small one that won't intimidate her, or buck up buddy and be prepared to work a little harder to get her off.

Ok, the next part all depends on what you want. If you want to go straight to intercourse, no problem, she is ready by now. However, if you want something else, for example her to go down on you, then maybe you better make sure she is totally satisfied. When she's pushing you away and begging you to stop, then you can be proud of a job well done. Hopefully she will be inspired to return the favor. If she needs a hint, use some flavored massage oil, pour some chocolate sauce, or spray some whipped cream on yourself.

What about an orgasm during sex? Yes, we can have them, but they aren't the mind blowing ones that we get from clitoral stimulation. If she wants, or you want her to have one of those during sex, try a finger vibrator. It slips on the finger and doesn't get in the way. It's best if she does it, because you're already pretty busy. The best position for this is doggy. Well, I may be biased, I prefer doggy all the time, but it is easier to reach in this position.

Ok, it's over. You're both exhausted and all you want to do is roll over and go to sleep. WAIT. Take a minute to either A. Tell her how great it was or B. Tell her you love her, or C. both. Hug and kiss her, wrap your arms around her, then you can go to sleep. Of course, she's probably going to want to talk, but if you've done these things, she's not going to be too upset when you nod off.

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