by Patricia Lee

Sometimes it's difficult to just 'let go' sexually. This seems to be especially true for women who have been brought up to believe that good girls just don't do those things. So how do you overcome your inhibitions?

First and foremost, it takes the right partner. A partner who criticizes the way you look, feel, or act, will never see you completely let go. Your guard will always be up. Suppose you have a loving partner but you still feel uncomfortable in the bedroom? Here are some suggestions:

  • Be comfortable masturbating - If you aren't comfortable when it is just you by yourself, it will be impossible when someone else is involved. Masturbate whenever you have some free alone time and learn to love your sexuality.

  • Educate Yourself - The more confident you are that you are able to please your partner, the more relaxed you will be in the bedroom. Read books, watch movies, or talk to friends. As you begin to feel more comfortable discussing it, talk to your partner about what they like.

  • Fantasize - Explore your sexuality to find out what different things turn you on. When you have free time during the day, imagine you and your partner together so that when you actually are together, you will be so turned on and ready to go, that nothing will stand in your way.

  • Role Play - Pretending you are someone other than yourself works for a lot of people. You can act or talk any way that you want to because you are playing a part. Wear costumes, talk with an accent, throw yourself into it and soon you will realize that this is a lot of fun and sexually exciting and liberating.

  • Talk first - Before sex begins, talk about your concerns, shyness, morality, any issues you may have. You may find that sharing them with your partner will both help them understand you better and help you understand what you want to change about yourself and what you don't. You should never compromise yourself in ways that go against your beliefs or do anything that is not consensual, barring that, you should be willing to try most things at least once.


Learning to love the sexual side of yourself will open up a whole new world to you. Don't let inhibitions, routine, or stubbornness get in your way. Unleash your inner beast because, trust me, it is in there somewhere, trying to get out.